So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
