Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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