I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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