I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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