I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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