My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
