You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
