apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so let's talk penis.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
