There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
