Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
