You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't turn off my feet"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
