It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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