I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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