Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
