Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
