My nipple is on Facebook.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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