The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
