got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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