p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
