I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
