Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
