Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
