Whod you bang
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
