Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
