Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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