Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
