I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
