so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I sprained my soul last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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