Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
