Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
