so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
