i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
