and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
