In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
