Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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