the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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