This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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