either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like death gave me a hand job
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I need to align my fucking chakras
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