I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
