she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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