I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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