Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
