i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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