i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
