It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
