So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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