standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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