I hate all girls vehemently.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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