absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
