Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
