why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
