I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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